You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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