So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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