so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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