Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
