Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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