yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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