just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
