I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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