I wish I could punch you in the face.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
