Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
