dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
