Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize