I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
