yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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