the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
