I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
