haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
