Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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