Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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