i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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