my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize