dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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