ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
