I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Randomize
