This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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