i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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