oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
