Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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