She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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