just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i believe in u and ur pee
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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