it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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