Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
