I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
