She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
