There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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