im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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