Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
