Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
