Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
