i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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