dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I deserve this hangover.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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