return my video game
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
