So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
