he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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