you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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