We're facebook friends in real life
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize