Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
and you fell through a lawn chair
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
