Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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