Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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