When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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