I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
