Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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