Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
