Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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