Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
