Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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