dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
