And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize