Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
