i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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