Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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